 |
|
Team Torque,
The new wrenches have come in!!! Come on, folks. Let's show a little excitement.
1) The sales team will be traveling with the wrenches to New York City for a convention at the Javits Center.
2) The fellas in shipping have received the molded foam to hold these new babies.
3) And speaking of babies, Mary Alice found out she's expecting a darling baby girl next month.
4) Also, there is a mysterious benefactor (or devil, depending on you're take on it) who has bestowed daily rations of Krispy Kreme donuts on our fair office. Hint: Kevin in shipping was seen hopping out of his grandma's adorable PT Cruiser with a mysterious box in his arms this morning!!!! :)
Thanks, guys!!
Traci Poponopolous
The new wrenches have come in!!! Come on, folks. Let's show a little excitement.
1) The sales team will be traveling with the wrenches to New York City for a convention at the Javits Center.
2) The fellas in shipping have received the molded foam to hold these new babies.
3) And speaking of babies, Mary Alice found out she's expecting a darling baby girl next month.
4) Also, there is a mysterious benefactor (or devil, depending on you're take on it) who has bestowed daily rations of Krispy Kreme donuts on our fair office. Hint: Kevin in shipping was seen hopping out of his grandma's adorable PT Cruiser with a mysterious box in his arms this morning!!!! :)
Thanks, guys!!
Traci Poponopolous
 |
|
Dear Traci,
As the associate who organizes a majority of the ever-more-frequent break room "get-togethers," I am sure you can imagine the hardship this causes for the flexible expenditures fund. As the analyst in charge of cost-containment, I can assure you it is substantial.
To rectify the situation, I am proposing a plan whereby get-togethers, while still being permitted (for now), would be paid for out of the pockets of the employees who choose to attend them. No disbursements will be granted. Requisitions for parties--be they for birthdays, engagements, babies, retirements, what-have-you--will be rejected. This is the only sensible solution for an activity that in no way benefits the company at large.
A second problem caused by the get-togethers is lost productivity, as employees tend to linger around the cake (going for "seconds," refilling soda cups, etc.). As part of a solution package rollout, we will institute a process whereby employees will "sign in" to the party, noting the time of their arrival, and then, following the party, will "sign out," again noting the time. The lost time will then be tabulated and added on to the employee's workday, giving them, in essence, a new "quitting time."
I already spoke to Mr. Foote about this, and he agreed verbally that the above is a sound strategy, thereby giving us the go-ahead. Please pass on the information about new cost saving strategies to the Sales and Operations Divisions. I want you to run with this.
(Incidentally, I have witnessed, first-hand, that the cake, chip, and soda portions consumed by the various employees is far from equitable--suggesting that you might consider instituting some type of weighted pricing strategy, as you collect funds for the supplies. [Employees should pay for what they use.] That is entirely up to you and is only a suggestion. I would, however, be happy to assist with this, by providing functional spreadsheets, etc, if you decide to go that route.)
Please try to get these measures rolling by C.O.B. today, Traci. I am very excited to begin this initiative; especially considering all of the benefits the company will reap in the short-term and down the road as well.
Together, we can uphold the core values of TorkRite Industries. Thank you.
Larry Keever
Cost Containment Associate
TorkRite Industries
Ext 2632
As the associate who organizes a majority of the ever-more-frequent break room "get-togethers," I am sure you can imagine the hardship this causes for the flexible expenditures fund. As the analyst in charge of cost-containment, I can assure you it is substantial.
To rectify the situation, I am proposing a plan whereby get-togethers, while still being permitted (for now), would be paid for out of the pockets of the employees who choose to attend them. No disbursements will be granted. Requisitions for parties--be they for birthdays, engagements, babies, retirements, what-have-you--will be rejected. This is the only sensible solution for an activity that in no way benefits the company at large.
A second problem caused by the get-togethers is lost productivity, as employees tend to linger around the cake (going for "seconds," refilling soda cups, etc.). As part of a solution package rollout, we will institute a process whereby employees will "sign in" to the party, noting the time of their arrival, and then, following the party, will "sign out," again noting the time. The lost time will then be tabulated and added on to the employee's workday, giving them, in essence, a new "quitting time."
I already spoke to Mr. Foote about this, and he agreed verbally that the above is a sound strategy, thereby giving us the go-ahead. Please pass on the information about new cost saving strategies to the Sales and Operations Divisions. I want you to run with this.
(Incidentally, I have witnessed, first-hand, that the cake, chip, and soda portions consumed by the various employees is far from equitable--suggesting that you might consider instituting some type of weighted pricing strategy, as you collect funds for the supplies. [Employees should pay for what they use.] That is entirely up to you and is only a suggestion. I would, however, be happy to assist with this, by providing functional spreadsheets, etc, if you decide to go that route.)
Please try to get these measures rolling by C.O.B. today, Traci. I am very excited to begin this initiative; especially considering all of the benefits the company will reap in the short-term and down the road as well.
Together, we can uphold the core values of TorkRite Industries. Thank you.
Larry Keever
Cost Containment Associate
TorkRite Industries
Ext 2632
 |
|
Folks,
Try to cut down on whole grain foods and liquids in general. That way we can save on toilet paper costs. Also, please wear shoes with no treads so the carpet dosent have to be replaced. Also, wear extra sweaters so we don't have to use so much heat. And in the summer, dress lite.
Larry Keever
Senior Fellatio Correspondent to Jim Foote
Try to cut down on whole grain foods and liquids in general. That way we can save on toilet paper costs. Also, please wear shoes with no treads so the carpet dosent have to be replaced. Also, wear extra sweaters so we don't have to use so much heat. And in the summer, dress lite.
Larry Keever
Senior Fellatio Correspondent to Jim Foote
![[info]](Icons/userinfo.gif){kind=icon}