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You men probably don't know me. I am a temporary assistant Receptionist (I hope I spelled that correctly--I haven't learned how to use the spell check on these PCs. I'm more of a Mac addict (just kidding!)).
Anyway, seriously. I've only been here 18 days total, if you include two half days as one whole day. So far, I only work Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, plus that half day last Sunday for that seminar thingie. I hope to work full-time here someday! I mean it! ;)
But that's not what I'm writing about today. I have taken it upon myself to keep a log of the comings and goings of the Paramus office staff (not including the warehouse or mailroom). I don't know everyone's names yet, so I have given descriptions instead. If you'd like, we can get together and "brainstorm" to figure out who's who (or is it "who's whom?"). Here's a sample. I can forward the whole log to you if/when we meet on this topic (maybe lunch--I hope that's not presumptuous of me).
Reddish hair male, drives a red Nissan: Arrived 8:45. Said "hi" without eye contact.
Overweight female, brown hair: Arrived 8:57. Brown Gucci purse (I don't think it's real).
Tall dark-skinned gentleman of African descent: Arrived 9:03. Three minutes late! I'm not being racist, but the facts don't lie!
Tall curly brown-haired individual with hazel eyes and no wedding ring: Arrived 8:59 (just barely made it! Yay!) Said “Top o’ the mornin†(does he know I’m 1/32nd Irish?) and winked (I think)!
Short dark-skinned female of East Asian descent: Arrived 8:12 (just 12 minutes after me!) Carrying bags from Shop-Rite. Is she up to something?
Gentlemen, I have pages and pages more like this. When we meet to discuss this (as I said, lunch would be great, but I could do dinner instead if that’s better for your schedules) please bring a roster that has everyone’s names. I’d like to crack a few mysteries. You know, put faces with names.
Sincerely,
Ms. Jeane Fryck
temporary assistant Receptionist
(pronounced frike—it’s a hard “yâ€)
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Traci,
I have some concerns regarding the new temporary receptionist sent by ManPower--namely that this is not what i asked for to begin with.
Traci, you know me well enough to know what i mean when I say the receptionist should be blonde and a "curvy type." This new one is not what I wanted. Please rectify this, taking care to channel all matters through Dan Sparks in HR, as always. With the amount of business we do with ManPower, this should not be a problem.
--Jim
Jim Foote
Branch Executive
TorkRite Industries
I have some concerns regarding the new temporary receptionist sent by ManPower--namely that this is not what i asked for to begin with.
Traci, you know me well enough to know what i mean when I say the receptionist should be blonde and a "curvy type." This new one is not what I wanted. Please rectify this, taking care to channel all matters through Dan Sparks in HR, as always. With the amount of business we do with ManPower, this should not be a problem.
--Jim
Jim Foote
Branch Executive
TorkRite Industries
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Dan,
"The Executioner" is at it again. This time, though, he's in for it. He is unaware that Ms. Fryck has been hired under the people with disabilities act, although what that disability is I am not sure. I thought she was using the mobility scooter because of a recent knee injury. I am not sure how we can broach the subject with her. She's going to need paperwork if she wants to resist the wrath of Foote.
Traci
"The Executioner" is at it again. This time, though, he's in for it. He is unaware that Ms. Fryck has been hired under the people with disabilities act, although what that disability is I am not sure. I thought she was using the mobility scooter because of a recent knee injury. I am not sure how we can broach the subject with her. She's going to need paperwork if she wants to resist the wrath of Foote.
Traci
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To: Dr. Pennis and Mr. Foote
From: Ms. Jeane Fryck, BA
Re: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!!
GENTLEMEN. It has been THREE HOURS since I sent the memo to you both about the comings and goings of the Paramus office staff! I would think that by now you would have both had ample time to read it! And maybe make lunch and/or dinner reservations so that we could discuss its contents. I have cleared MY dinner schedule (lunch is now over, in case you didn’t notice!), so please get back to me. I know you are both very busy and important men, but I think you are both being rather inconsiderate to me, a valued member of the Tork-Rite team. Yay team!
In addition to the log I’ve created, I have some recommendations for how to improve morale around the office.
Sincerely,
Ms. Jeane Fryck , BA
temporary assistant Receptionist
P.S. Mr. Foote, that petite blonde lady who came to visit you from 3:17 until 3:52 PM is simply LOVELY! Is she your daughter? I don’t really see the family resemblance.
I know she’s not your wife, because I patched your wife through to voice-mail (as per your instructions) during your closed-door meeting with the pretty pretty blonde.
P.P.S. Did either of you see the Oscars the other night? I fell asleep before the end, but I thought that Reese Witherspoon was so beautiful and elegant! Don't you agree? But I don't understand why that "pimp" song had to win. Not that I'm a racist or anything, but I don't think that "black pimping" gives a good message to the children (who should have been in bed then anyway!)
From: Ms. Jeane Fryck, BA
Re: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!!
GENTLEMEN. It has been THREE HOURS since I sent the memo to you both about the comings and goings of the Paramus office staff! I would think that by now you would have both had ample time to read it! And maybe make lunch and/or dinner reservations so that we could discuss its contents. I have cleared MY dinner schedule (lunch is now over, in case you didn’t notice!), so please get back to me. I know you are both very busy and important men, but I think you are both being rather inconsiderate to me, a valued member of the Tork-Rite team. Yay team!
In addition to the log I’ve created, I have some recommendations for how to improve morale around the office.
Sincerely,
Ms. Jeane Fryck , BA
temporary assistant Receptionist
P.S. Mr. Foote, that petite blonde lady who came to visit you from 3:17 until 3:52 PM is simply LOVELY! Is she your daughter? I don’t really see the family resemblance.
I know she’s not your wife, because I patched your wife through to voice-mail (as per your instructions) during your closed-door meeting with the pretty pretty blonde.
P.P.S. Did either of you see the Oscars the other night? I fell asleep before the end, but I thought that Reese Witherspoon was so beautiful and elegant! Don't you agree? But I don't understand why that "pimp" song had to win. Not that I'm a racist or anything, but I don't think that "black pimping" gives a good message to the children (who should have been in bed then anyway!)
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3/7/06
PERSONAL CONFIDENTIAL
AM Tardy Log
Ms. Jean Fryck
temporary assistant Receptionist
Dark-skinned female of East Asian descent. Arrived some time before 8:00 AM (when I arrive). Now I really think she’s up to something!
Man with the dark little mustache who wears ties that have those “Space Wars” or “Star Track” pictures. Arrived 8:15 AM. Grunted something that sounded German. (Or was it Arabic? !!!!!!!!)
Reddish-haired male who drives the red Nissan Altima. Arrived 8:45. Walked right past without saying “hi” or anything. Even dogs will sniff each others’ fannies!
Dark-skinned individual male of African descent. Arrived 8:53. That’s cutting it pretty close! He was late the other day. I’m just sayin’...
Overweight female with fake (definitely! I saw it up close) brown Gucci bag. Arrived 8:58 AM. Said “Good morning!” in that fake sing-songy way that some people have.
Hard-edged blonde woman who works in HR. Arrived 8:57 AM. She never says “hi” either. (Based on intuition, I think she’s having an affair during lunch “hour.” I put “hour” in quotes because with her it’s more like 68 minutes.)
Handsome tall man with hazel eyes and no wedding ring. Arrived 8:59 AM (my watch temporarily stopped. He was on time, honest!) Said, "Hello beautiful" with a HILARIOUS Cockney accent. And definitely winked. DEFINITELY!
Mr. Foote. Arrived 11:18 AM. He’s the boss! Didn’t say “hi,” but it’s OK because I know he’s SO BUSY! Yay team!
PERSONAL CONFIDENTIAL
AM Tardy Log
Ms. Jean Fryck
temporary assistant Receptionist
Dark-skinned female of East Asian descent. Arrived some time before 8:00 AM (when I arrive). Now I really think she’s up to something!
Man with the dark little mustache who wears ties that have those “Space Wars” or “Star Track” pictures. Arrived 8:15 AM. Grunted something that sounded German. (Or was it Arabic? !!!!!!!!)
Reddish-haired male who drives the red Nissan Altima. Arrived 8:45. Walked right past without saying “hi” or anything. Even dogs will sniff each others’ fannies!
Dark-skinned individual male of African descent. Arrived 8:53. That’s cutting it pretty close! He was late the other day. I’m just sayin’...
Overweight female with fake (definitely! I saw it up close) brown Gucci bag. Arrived 8:58 AM. Said “Good morning!” in that fake sing-songy way that some people have.
Hard-edged blonde woman who works in HR. Arrived 8:57 AM. She never says “hi” either. (Based on intuition, I think she’s having an affair during lunch “hour.” I put “hour” in quotes because with her it’s more like 68 minutes.)
Handsome tall man with hazel eyes and no wedding ring. Arrived 8:59 AM (my watch temporarily stopped. He was on time, honest!) Said, "Hello beautiful" with a HILARIOUS Cockney accent. And definitely winked. DEFINITELY!
Mr. Foote. Arrived 11:18 AM. He’s the boss! Didn’t say “hi,” but it’s OK because I know he’s SO BUSY! Yay team!