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To: All Employees
From: Ed Morton
Date: March 23, 2006
re: continued office pranks
As a follow up to the memo of February 8, this memo documents the fact that the continuance of pranks within the main office of Tork-Rite will not be tolerated. This includes the shipping area and the mail room.
During the past week, a radio was left on a timer in the panel in the ceiling of the main office, a kitten was found in a high volume hydraulic console, and now someone has filled Donald Boyce's cubicle with packing materials.
This memo represents a final warning. If you do not immediately cease the pranks we will begin reviewing the data stored on the hard drive of our surveillance system, terminate and possibly prosecute the guilty parties.
And speaking of parties, I want to congratulate Jean Fryck, who was hired as a full-time receptionist last week. You are invited to join Ms. Fryck for a cake-and-coffee toast on April 1 in the conference room at 4pm.
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Frankly, Traci, I don't know whether to be shocked or appalled or both.
This is the first I'm hearing of the above-mentioned April 1
"cake-and-toast." That this party is going forward on an "as-usual" basis
goes against everything we've talked about. What happened to our cost
containment strategy? If this issue has "slipped your mind," please refer
to our correspondence from earlier in March http://lezmaz.livejournal.com/15743.htm
Plans
were made to change these procedures. Traci, you said you were on
board.
No matter. We still have time to right this ship, even at
this, the eleventh hour. What I propose is that you and I clear our
calendars for the next three evenings, put ourselves in "crisis mode"
(given the time frame, I see no way to avoid this) and begin the hard work
of restructuring the means whereby office get-togethers are financed. I
will order pizza and cokes, and we will work on this project for as long
as it takes. (No, the pizzas will NOT be paid for from the Flex. account.
We are not in the business of providing fodder for office naysayers who
would accuse us of hypocrisy.)
We'll go in together on the
refreshments. I'll have Marcy chip in, as well. I hardly think she'll
mind, seeing as how you are, in effect, doing her job for her. It's the
least she can do.
There may be a way that I can allay the
out-of-pocket expenditures. If I can do this in a way that does not give
the appearance of impropriety, I will do so. Unlike the conference room
"partiers" we are trying to reign in, we have every right to expense our
food costs. This is work.
I will reserve the "war room" for the
next several evenings, up until April 1, so we will have a good working
environment. I don't expect us to agree on everything. There will be
arguments. There will be sweat, and neck-muscle cramps and rolled up
sleeves. Even no sleeves. Temperatures in the war room are certain to
rise. There will be sweat and there will be arguments, rest assured,
Traci. Even bad breath is not out of the realm of possibility. If the
project extends past the estimated time frame, we may very well exhaust
our taste for Dominos pizza and begin ordering from Hop Sheng Express, the
new chinese place by the video store, which actually sounds better to me
right now than pizza, now that I'm giving the matter more
consideration.
Traci, by the end of this project, you and I may be
at one another's throats. But we'll persevere. We will succeed.
Why
do I think this will work? Because I know that, in the final analysis, we
share a common vision: the betterment of TorkRite Industries at large. And
that is why, together, we will make a difference.
Thank
You.
Larry Keever
Cost Containment
Specialist
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Mr. Keever, I would be happy to reserve a war room for you. Normally Mary Alice or Sheree would do this. Perhaps if you could inform me what this is all about?